J784 


1844 


Hanson 

Life  and  Sufferings  of 
Miss  Emma  Cole 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


LIFE  AND  SUFFERINGS 


MISS  EMMA  COLE, 


liKI.XG    A    FAITHFUL   NARRATIVE   OK    HER   LIFE. 


WRITTEN   BY   HERSELF. 


SECONQ    EDITION. 


BOSTON: 

PUBLISHED    BY    M.    AURELIUS. 
1844. 


1 1  fell  upon  my  knees  and  besought  him  to  spare  me,  a  poor   iriendles 
Jorphan."    See  page  13.  • 


LIFE  AND  SUFFERINGS 


MISS  EMMA  COLE, 


BEING    A   FAITHFUL    NARRATIVE    OF  HER   LIFE. 

I 


,,. 

WRITTEN  BY  HERSELP. 


SECOND    EDITION. 


BOSTON; 

PUBLISHED     BY    M.    AURELIUS. 
1844. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1844, 

BY  M.  ADBELIUS, 
Jn  the  Clerk's  office  of  the  District  Court  for  the  District  of  Massachusetts 


A.    J.    WRIGHT,    PRINTER.    BOSTON. 


PS 


LIFE  AND  SUFFERINGS  OF 

MISS    EMMA   COLE. 


READER, — dispensing  with  an  introduction,  I  will 
enter  at  once  upon  the  history  of  my  Life  and  Suf- 
ferings ;  and  although  in  many  cases  it  may  afford  us 
but  little  satisfaction  in  taking  a  retrospective  glance  of 
our  past  life,  yet  with  myself  it  is  a  source  of  much  real 
pleasure  to  turn  over  the  pages  in  the  volume  of  events 
of  my  chequered  life,  treasured  in  my  memory,  and  to 
thank  the  great  Author  of  my  being,  who  has  carried 
me  safely  through  so  many  trying  scenes. 

I  was  bom  in  the  State  of  Maine.  And  although  my 
parents  were  poor,  they  were  honest.  My  father  gained 
a  livelihood  for  his  family  by  cultivating  a  small  piece 
of  land,  and  occasionally  fishing.  Being  the  only  child 
of  my  parents  I  was  their  idol.  Beneath  their  parental 
roof  I  lived  in  my  innocence,  happy  and  contented,  and 
sorrow  was  a  stranger  to  my  buoyant  heart.  I  would 
that  the  conscious  delights  of  those  days  had  never 
'departed  from  me ;  but  alas !  my  father  became  a  prey 
to  a  consumption,  and  then  could  perform  but  little 
labor ;  and  it  was  with  much  difficulty  my  poor  mother 
could  support  us,  I  being  quite  young,  then  only  about 

1205797 


6  LIFE   AND    SUFFERINGS 

five  years  of  age.  For  two  years  previous  my  father 
grew  worse ;  at  last  he  paid  the  debt  of  nature.  His  loss 
preyed  on  my  mother,  and  threw  her  into  a  fever,  and 
she  survived  him  only  about  three  months  and  then 
she  too  left  me,  giving  me  the  best  of  advice.  It  was 
a  solemn  time  for  me,  and  I  shall  never  forget  the 
grief  of  my  little  bosom  at  that  moment  when  she  closed 
her  eyes  in  death.  I  said  within  myself,  would  that  I 
could  have  died  for  her.  Alas  !  I  was  now  left  alone 
to  drift  upon  the  wide  waters  of  the  world,  having  neither 
house  nor  home ;  for  the  premises  improved  by  my 
parents  were  only  hired,  and  the  little  personal  property 
they  had  went  to  defray  the  expenses  of  sickness.  Being 
poorly  clad,  1  hardly  knew  where  to  wander ;  but  an  old 
friend  of  my  father's,  by  the  name  of  Smith,  offered 
me  an  opportunity  to  come  and  live  in  his  family.  I 
immediately  embraced  the  opportunity,  and  was  treated 
well,  but  it  did  not  seem  like  my  father's  house.  I  had 
to  do  the  drudgery  for  all  the  family ;  that  I  was  willing 
to  do,  even  any  thing  that  lay  in  my  power,  to  make 
them  satisfied  and  contented. 

Time  passed  on,  and  I  found  myself  in  my  fourteenth 
year.  It  was  my  study  to  make  all  around  me  happy 
and  contented.  I  very  seldom  left  to  go  anywhere, 
except  to  church,  and  there  I  could  go  but  seldom, 
most  always  on  Sundays  having  to  take  care  of  the 
children,  in  order  that  the  family  might  attend.  I  re- 
mained quite  happy,  until  a  young  man  in  the  neigh- 
borhood, by  the  name  of  Haekley,  one  day  as  the  rest 
of  the  family  were  away  from  home,  came  to  the  house. 
Standing  high  in  the  estimation  of  this  world,  having 
rich  parents  and  relations,  and  being  quite  handsome, 


OF    MISS    EMMA    COLE.  7 

he  thought  that  all  must  obey  him  at  his  request  or 
command.  As  soon  as  he  was  aware  that  I  was  alone, 
and  knowing  also  that  I  was  a  poor  orphan,  he  con- 
ceived the  thought  of  robbing  me  of  all  that  makes  life 
valuable — character.  But  I  resisted  to  the  utmost  of 
my  strength  and  abilities ;  and  I  succeeded  in  frustrating 
his  fiendish  schemes.  After  this  I  left  the  house,  and 
fled  to  one  of  the  nearest  neighbors,  intending  to  expose 
him ;  but  as  I  arrived  there,  I  found  the  family  were 
engaged  with  some  newly  arrived  friends,  and  there- 
fore I  concluded  to  defer  it  until  a  more  convenient 
time.  I  stopped  there  a  short  time  and  returned  home. 
The  family  had  just  arrived  a  few  moments  before  me, 
but  they  also  had  brought  with  them  some  of  their 
friends,  and  I  had  not  an  opportunity  to  expose  the 
villain.  I  immediately  went  about  my  customary  em- 
ployments, and  in  a  few  hours  there  came  two  persons 
to  the  house,  who  desired  to  speak  privately  with  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Smith,  and  they  all  went  into  another  room 
by  themselves.  As  they  spoke  rather  loud,  I  could 
perceive  that  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Smith  were  quite  angry, 
but  could  understand  only  a  little  that  was  said ; 
I  heard  my  name  several  times  repeated.  At  last 
they  came  out  and  went  into  several  rooms,  and  then  I 
was  taken  aside,  and  totally  confounded  by  the  dec- 
laration, that  I  had  stolen  and  secreted  their  silver 
spoons.  I  declared  upon  my  honor  I  had  not  taken 
them.  They  said  that  I  was  an  imposter,  that  I  was 
not  to  be  believed,  and  that  I  had  broken  several 
locks,  and  taken  articles  not  belonging  to  me,  some 
of  which  were  secreted  in  my  trunk.  I  resolutely 


8  LIFE   AND    SUFFERINGS 

denied  every  charge,  but  was  told,  that  as  they  had 
detected  my  dishonesty,  I  must  quit  their  house,  for 
they  could  no  longer  harbor  an  imposter.  I  fell  on 
my  knees  at  their  feet,  and  called  heaven  to  witness 
that  I  was  innocent  of  the  dreadful  charges  they  had 
made,  and  implored  them  not  to  cast  me  off;  but  their 
hearts  appeared  as  hard  as  adamant ;  they  said  they 
would  not  listen  to  any  words,  for  they  had  caught 
me  already  in  several  falsehoods,  and  therefore  would 
hear  nothing  more  from  me ;  and  giving  me  my  bonnet 
and  shawl,  desired  me  to  quit  their  house  immediately, 
and  never  let  them  see  me  again. 

I  arose  with  a  bursting  heart,  and  made  my  way  out  of 
the  house.  I  wandered  a  few  steps,  and  fainted.  When  I 
revived,  it  was  with  much  difficulty  that  I  could  convince 
myself  but  that  it  was  a  dream ;  but  alas,  I  soon  found 
that  it  was  reality.  I  wandered  about  until  it  was  quite 
dark.  Not  knowing  whither  I  had  strayed,  I  came 
to  a  miserable  looking  hut  and  knocked  at  the  door. 
An  old  lady  came  to  the  door  and  wished  to  know 
what  I  wanted.  I  told  her  that  I  had  lost  my  way, 
and  did  not  know  where  I  wasx  and  inquired  how 
far  it  was  to  Mr.  Smith's.  She  told  me  it  was 
about  five  miles,  and  asked  me  to  walk  in.  I  was 
glad  of  the  invitation,  for  it  had  been  raining  most  of 
the  afternoon,  and  I  had  got  completely  drenched. 

I  was  glad  even  to  find  this  shelter,  although  it  was 
a  wretched  looking  place.  There  stood  a  small  pine 
table  in  the  middle  of  the  floor,  and  on  it  a  candle  and 
a  few  roasted  potatoes,  and  a  little  cold  meat ;  without 
bread,  cakes,  pie  or  tea.  In  the  fireplace  were  a  few 
embers.  The  woman  seeing  that  I  was  quite  wet,  im- 


OF   MISS   EMMA    COLE.  9 

mediately  built  a  good  fire  and  I  sat  down  by  it.  I  could 
not  help  thinking  of  my  situation.  She  saw  that  I  was 
much  embarrassed,  and  invited  me  to  her  supper  ta- 
ble. I  thankfully  accepted  her  invitation.  After  supper 
she  made  a  bed  for  me  before  the  fire,  and  laying  myself 
down,  I  could  not  sleep,  my  mind  being  so  much  affected 
by  my  situation.  At  last  I  fell  into  a  profound  slumber, 
and  did  not  awake  until  aroused  by  the  old  lady's  prep- 
arations for  breakfast,  which  was  a  very  meagre  affair, 
but  of  which  I  partook  with  her.  She  then  wished  to 
know  how  I  happened  to  get  lost.  I  now  informed  her 
of  my  situation ;  she  sympathized  with  me  much.  I 
could  not  conceive  how  those  articles  came  in  my  trunk, 
unless  that  villain  had  placed  them  there  to  ruin  me ;  the 
old  lady  thought  that  his  intention  in  pursuing  this  course 
was  to  drive  me  from  the  town  to  save  his  own  rep- 
utation. I  did  not  know  what  to  do  or  where  to 
go ;  it  would  not  do  for  me  to  stay  here  and  live  on 
the  old  lady,  for  she  had  told  me  her  situation.  She  was 
once  rich  and  happy;  her  husband  lost  his  fortune 
in  the  last  war,  which  worried  him  so  that  it  threw  him 
into  a  consumption,  and  he  died,  leaving  her  nearly  pen- 
niless. Her  frjends  almost  entirely  forgot  her,  and  very 
seldom  called  on  her,  and  in  but  few  instances  offered  her 
the  least  assistance.  She  was  much  surprised  at  their  cool 
treatment,  and  therefore  chose  to  retire  from  their  soci- 
ety, rather  than  to  be  so  neglected  by  them ;  so  she  ob- 
tained this  hov  el  of  a  place,  and  had  supported  herself  here 
by  her  own  industry.  "  It  is  true,  I  have  fared  hard," 
she  said,  "  but  I  have  not  had  to  be  dependent  on  any  of 
my  pretended  friends,  or  those  that  I  considered  my  true 
friends,  when  kind  providence  filled  our  storehouses 


10  LIFE   AND    SUFFERINGS 

to  overflowing;  but  who,  when  misfortunes  came  on 
me,  fled  and  left  me'  to  wander  alone."  The  old 
lady  wished  me  to  remain  longer,  but  I  could  not  con- 
sent, knowing  that  it  would  take  from  her  small  pittance, 
which  she  had  provided  for  a  long  cold  winter;  so  I 
took  my  leave  of  her.  She  gave  me  good  advice,  and 
warned  me  to  take  heed  of  my  character,  for  one  false 
step  might  precipitate  me  in  the  deepest  abyss  of  misery; 
that  I  must  expect  to  find  a  rough  and  uneven  path  to 
tread,  at  the  best.  In  return,  I  declared  that  no  tempta- 
tion could  shake  my  resolution,  or  make  me  swerve  from 
the  paths  of  rectitude.  She  seemed  much  pleased  to 
find  that  I  resolved  to  lean  to  Virtue's  side,  even  at  the 
hazard  of  my  life.  I  thanked  her  much  for  her  kind- 
ness, for  truly  the  poor  widow's  mite  was  much,  to  me. 
Having  left. her  hospitable  roof,  I  determined  to  set 
out  on  foot  for  Bangor,  and  arrived  there  after  a  day's 
journey,  much  fatigued.  Being  now  penniless,  I  had 
to  beg  the  favor  in  an  obscure  house  of  a  night's  lodg- 
ing. In  the  morning  I  went  in  quest  of  employment, 
and  began  to  think  I  should  find  none,  when  a  lady 
informed  me  that  a  female  was  wanted  to  attend  some 
ladies  on  their  passage  to  Boston,  and  the  offer  having 
been  made  me  of  the  situation,  I  gladly  accepted  it. 
There  were  several  ladies  on  board,  one  of  whom  wished 
to  engage  me  as  a  domestic  in  her  house  when  we 
should  arrive  in  Boston.  I  gladly  accepted  the  offer, 
and  on  our  arrival  in  Boston,  accompanied  her  to  her 
house.  She  kindly  supplied  me  with  clothes,  and  did 
much  to  make  me  happy,  and  while  under  her  roof  I 
felt  that  I  had  again  a  mother.  But  a  bitter  draught 
was  soon  to  be  handed  me.  I  learnt  that  my  best  of 


OF   MISS    EMMA    COLE.  11 

friends  was  about  to  visit  Europe,  to  be  absent  for  a 
few  years  ;  consequently,  my  services  were  not  wanted 
any  longer.  Before  her  departure  she  presented  me 
with  clothing,  and  procured  me  another  place  at  service. 
The  name  of  the  family  where  I  now  went  to  live  was 
Haden.  At  this  place  my  duties  were  very  arduous, 
but  I  bore  them  as  well  as  I  could,  being  supported  by 
that  innate  sense  of  rectitude  which  has  ever  accompa- 
nied me,  and  feeling  a  sense  of  satisfactory  pride,  that 
I  was  earning  my  livelihood,  and  was  not  a  dependent 
on  others.  I  had  been  at  this  place  about  a  year,  and 
had  not  taken  up  any  of  my  wages;  when  one  day  I 
heard  that  Haden  had  become  a  bankrupt.  I  then 
requested  a  settlement  of  Mrs.  Haden,  who  informed 
me  that  all  their  effects  had  been  put  into  the  hands  of 
their  creditors,  and  she  could  not  pay  me  a  farthing, 
and  that  they  were  in  a  few  days  to  break  up  house- 
keeping. 

Thus  I  was  again  obliged  to  find  a  home.  I  took 
board,  and  during  the  time  that  I  was  in  search  of  a 
situation,  had  to  part  with  every  article  I  could  spare 
of  my  scanty  clothing,  to  defray  the  expenses  of  my 
board.  I  daily  visited  the  intelligence  offices,  but  found; 
no  suitable  place ;  until  one  day,  I  being  at  the  office, 
an  elderly  lady  alighted  from  a  carriage  and  stepped 
into  the  office.  She  said  she  was  in  search  of  a  girl 
as  a  help  in  her  family.  She  addressed  me,  and  was 
quite  inquisitive  as  to  who  and  what  I  was,  and 
where  I  came  from.  I  replied  to  her,  that  I  was 
destitute,  and  an  orphan.  She  seemed  satisfied; 
with  my  answers,  and  the  wages  having  been  agreed 
on,  she  bade  me  follow  her  into  her  carriage,  which 


12  LIFE    AND    SUFFERINGS 

stopped  at  a  fine  looking  house  in  Eliot  street,  at  the 
south  part  of  the  city.  On  entering,  I  observed  a  num- 
ber of  good  looking  young  ladies,  to  whom  I  was  intro- 
duced as  her  friends.  I  was  informed  that  my  duty 
would  be  to  take  charge  of  two  or  three  sleeping  apart- 
ments. The  ladies  gave  me  to  understand,  that  as  some 
gentlemen  were  to  call  that  evening,  I  might  retire  if  I 
chose,  but  would  like  to  have  me  present  the  next 
evening.  I  thanked  them  for  the  privilege  of  retiring, 
and  went  to  bed  quite  early,  for  I  did  not  wish  to  see 
their  company. 

On  entering  my  chamber,  I  closed  and  made  secure 
the  door,  then  looked  beneath  the  bed  and  in  the  closets 
to  see  that  all  was  right.  Having  satisfied  myself,  I 
went  to  bed,  and  began  to  recall  to  my  mind  the  numer- 
ous hardships  I  had  gone  through,  for  one  so  young, 
and  hoping  that  a  better  fate  awaited  me ;  not  dream- 
ing that  any  fresh  misfortunes  were  near  at  hand,  or 
but  that  I  was  perfectly  secure  in  my  new  situation, 
It  was  quite  late  when  I  fell  asleep.  I  had  not  been 
asleep  long,  when  I  was  awakened  by  voices  in  an  ad- 
joining room ;  the  parties  appeared  to  be  angry,  and 
used  many  oaths,  but  I  could  not  distinguish  what  was 
said.  This  alarmed  me  so  much  that  I  could  not  close  my 
eyes  in  sleep  again  the  remainder  of  the  night.  I  feared 
I  had  got  into  a  house  of  disreputable  character ;  and  I 
determined  to  watch  every  movement,  and  if  I  discover- 
ed it  to  be  so,  to  leave  it  at  once.  Things  seemed  to  go  on 
smoothly  the  next  day,  and  on  asking  one  of  the  girls 
the  occasion  of  the  noise  the  last  night,  she  told  me  that 
the  street  door  having  been  inadvertently  left  open  that 
night,  a  drunken  fellow  had  mistaken  his  way  and 


OF   MISS   EMMA    COLE.  13 

entered  the  house,  and  this  occasioned  the  noise  I  had 
heard.  I  did  not  credit  this  account,  but  said  nothing 
more  about  it. 

At  last,  evening  came  once  more,  and  the  old  lady 
told  me  that  a  rich  young  man  of  her  acquaintance, 
from  the  South,  was  expected  there  that  evening,  and 
she  desired  me  to  be  very  attentive  to  wait  on  him,  and 
be  particular  not  to  displease  him,  as  he  was  of  a  pas- 
sionate temper,  and  yet  was  a  very  fine  fellow,  and 
always  made  presents  when  he  called.  I  promised  to 
do  my  duty.  In  the  evening  he  arrived,  and  occasion- 
ally there  came  in  other  young  men.  I  scrutinized 
their  appearance  and  conduct  very  narrowly. 

After  a  while  the  old  lady's  relative  from  the  Soulh 
complained  of  being  unwell,  and  I  was  desired  to  show 
him  to  an  apartment  where  he  might  sleep.  Having 
shown  him  up  to  his  room,  I  was  about  to  retnrn,  when 
I  was  seized  by  him  and  dragged  into  his  chamber. 
He  then  told  me  it  would  be  useless  for  me  to  resist,  as 
I  was  completely  in  his  power,  and  gave  me  the  horri- 
ble intelligence  of  the  character  of  the  house  I  was  in. 
I  fell  on  my  knees,  and  begged  him  to  spare  a  friendless 
orphan ;  that  I  had  no  knowledge  of  the  kind  of  house 
I  was  in,  and  implored  him  to  pity  me,  and  let  me  in- 
stantly depart.  He  replied  by  laughing,  and  saying 
there  was  no  use  of  whining  about  it.  I  could  perceive 
protruding  from  his  vest  the  handle  of  a  dirk.  Despair 
now  seized  me,  and  while  in  his  grasp,  I  made  a  sudden 
movement  and  snatched  the  dagger  from  his  breast ; 
this  disengaged  him,  and  I  then  warned  him  not  to 
approach  me,  or  I  should  take  his  life.  He  made  an 
attempt  to  get  the  weapon  from  me,  but  with  my  whole 


14  LIFE    AND    SUFFERINGS 

muscular  strength  I  made  a  thrust  at  him,  which  sent 
the  weapon  in  to  its  hilt.  He  fell,  and  uttered  a  deep 
groan.  I  quickly  unlocked  the  door,  and  catching  my 
shawl  as  I  passed  do\vn  the  stairs,  made  my  way  out 
of  the  house  as  soon  as  I  could.  I  expected  that  I  must 
certainly  have  killed  him,  and  my  feelings  can  better 
be  imagined  than  described.  I  at  once  determined  to 
return  to  the  house  at  which  I  had  been,  boarding  be- 
fore I  was  inveigled  into  that  house  of  abomination. 
By  good  luck  I  easily  found  it.  The  door  was  un- 
locked, and  perceiving  company  in  the  house,  I' went 
to  the  room  which  I  had  occupied,  and  retired  to  bed, 
trembling,  and  a  cold  clammy  sweat  standing  on  my 
face,  and  scarcely  daring  to  indulge  the  thought  of 
what  had  just  passed.  I  soon  heard  some  one  coming 
up  to  my  chamber,  and  I  feigned  to  be  asleep.  It  was 
the  landlady;  she  approached  and  spoke  to  me.  I  ap- 
peared to  awake.  She  seemed  pteased  to  see  me,  and 
wished  to  know  when  I  returned  from  my  visit.  I  told 
her  I  had  returned  early  that  evening,  but  observing 
that  she  had  friends  to  see  her,  I  did  not  like  to  intrude, 
especially  as  1  was  a  stranger.  She  supposed  I  had 
been  »on  a  visit  to  some  friends,  and  inquired  if  I  en- 
joyed myself.  I  told  her  I  had  been  rather  unwell,  and 
did  not  enjoy  my  visit  so  much  as  I  otherwise  should. 
Making  a  few  more  friendly  remarks,  she  bade  me  good! 
night,  and  I  was  left  to  reflect  on  my  miserable  situa- 
tion. Steep  did  not  close  my  eyelids  that  nisht. 

It  was  now  evident  that  my  condition  was  a  desper- 
ate one,  and  that  my  cup  of  woe  was  full ;  I  had  never 
before  been  so  miserable.  I  was  at  a  loss  what  course 
to  pursue.  It  was  evident  that  ill  had  killed  the  manr 


OF    MISS   EMMA    COLE.  15 

the  old  woman  and  her  friends  would  be  witnesses 
against  me,  and  although  it  was  not  known  where  I 
had  fled,  it  would  be  an  easy  matter  to  find  me.  I  was 
consoled  by  the  thought,  that  if  I  had  killed  the  man, 
it  was  in  defence  of  my  honor,  which  J  valued  more 
than  life.  A  thousand  schemes  floated  in  my  mind  that 
night;  at  length,  towards  morning  I  conceived  the  bold 
idea  of  exchanging  my  clothes  for  a  sailor's,  and  en- 
deavoring to  procure  the  berth  of  cook  on  board  some 
vessel,  whither  bound  was  of  little  consequence  to  me. 

Having  got  up,  I  dressed  myself  with  as  little  cloth- 
ing as  I  could  to  appear  decent,  and  took  the  remainder 
to  a  cast-off  clothing  shop,  and  readily  exchanged  them. 
Having  procured  the  sailor's  dress,  I  packed  it  up 
snugly  and  carried  it  to  my  lodgings,  and  went  to  my 
chamber,  put  on  the  clothes,  which  fitted  me  as  well  as 
if  they  had  been  made  for  me.  I  then  put  on  my  wo- 
man's clothes  again,  and  went  to  a  barber  and  had  my 
hair  cut  on",  which  I  sold  to  him.  I  then  settled  with 
the  landlady  for  my  board. 

My  imagined  difficulty  now  was  to  get  an  apportu- 
nity  to  ship  on  board  a  vessel.  But  a  chance  soon 
presented  itself,  as  the  cook  engaged  in  a  certain  vessel 
had  been  taken  sick,  I  was  taken  in  his  place;  the 
wages  were  to  be  ten  dollars  a  month,  and  the  voyage 
to  Europe.  She  sailed  on  the  same  day  I  shipped,  and 
I  felt  much  relieved  on  quitting  Boston,  which  had  been 
the  scene  of  that  awful  tragedy,  in  which  I  was  doomed 
to  play  so  conspicuous  a  part.  I  had  not  yet  seen  our 
captain ;  the  owner  and  the  mate  having  engaged  me. 
On  asking  where  Captain  Gregory  was,  (that  was  his 
name,)  I  was  told  that  he  was  on  board,  but  was  rather 


10  LIFE   AND    SUFFERINGS 

unwell.  As  we  passed  the  light-houses  and  were  stand- 
ing out  to  sea,  I  overheard  the  first  and  second  mate 
conversing  about  the  captain,  when  one  of  them  ob- 
served, that  he  had  got  stabbed  the  night  before,  by  a 
girl,  and  mentioned  the  street  and  the  circumstances. 

It  was  now  evident  to  me,  that  the  captain  was  the 
same  individual  I  had  encountered  at  the  afore-men- 
tioned house  of  ill  fame.  I  was  confounded  again  with 


my  extraordinary  situation ;  an  evil  genius  seemed  to 
pursue  me.  I  must  now  be  confined  by  this  demon, 
and  he  my  master.  But  desponding  would  be  useless, 
and  I  resolved  to  muster  courage,  and  trust  in  that  kind 
Providence  that  had  already  rescued  me  from  so  many 
impending  dangers.  I  was  at  first  a  little  sea-sick,  but 
soon  recovered,  and  went  about  my  work  with  as  much 
familiarity  as  I  could,  and  endeavoring  to  imitate  the 
voice  of  a  man  as  much  as  possible. 

After  we  had  been  out  about  twenty  days,  the  Cap- 
tain had  so  far  recovered  that  he  appeared  upon  deck. 
He  did  not  recognize  his  intended  victim,  through  my 
disguise,  and  often  spoke  of  the  girl,  and  said  she  had 
done  right,  although  it  had  nearly  cost  him  his  life. 
The  vessel  being  old,  it  was  resolved  to  repair  her  on 


OP   MISS   EMMA    COLE.  17 

her  arrival  in  London.  We  arrived  in  port,  and  the 
Captain  gave  ns  leave  to  quit  the  vessel's  service  if  we 
wished,  as  it  would  take  two  or  more  months  time  to 
repair  her.  For  my  part  I  was  rejoiced  to  leave  the 
vessel,  which  I  did  at  once. 

I  wandered  about  the  streets  of  London  for  about  a 
day,  in  search  of  employment,  but  found  none ;  and 
my  only  alternative  was  to  go  to  sea  again.  Having 
procured  myself  some  clothing  and  other  necessary  arti- 
cles, I  shipped  in  the  brig  Juba,  destined  for  New  Orleans, 
having  been  in  London  ten  days.  For  several  days 
after  we  left  port  we  had  a  very  fair  wind,  and  nothing 
unusual  occurred  to  disturb  the  monotony  of  the  voyage. 

One  afternoon,  we  saw  a  sail  at  a  distance,  which 
was  approaching  us.  At  first  no  fears  were  entertained 
in  regard  to  her  character;  but  as  she  neared  us,  we 
b'egan  to  suspect  her.  The  Captain  ordered  all  sail  to 
be  hoisted,  which  was  done.  We  were  now  com- 
manded to  put  ourselves  in  a  situation  of  defence,  which 
we  did  with  the  scanty  means  that  the  vessel  afforded. 
But  the  wind  springing  up,  we  began  to  distance  her. 
Night  coming  on,  attended  by  a  squall,  we  changed  our 
course,  and  kept  no  lights  to  be  seen,  hoping  by  this 
means  4o  elude  her.  But  as  morning  dawned  she  was 
still  in  sight,  and  the  wind  had  greatly  subsided.  She 
gained  on  us  fast,  and  about  ten  o'clock  in  the  forenoon 
came  along,  and  sent  us  a  broadside  salute,  which  car- 
ried away  our  mainmast.  We  were  now  very  near 
one  another.  We  fought  with  such  arms  as  the  vessel 
afforded,  until  there  were  but  three  souls  left  alive  to 
defend  her.  It  being  useless  to  contend  longer,  we 
ceased,  and  thgj^&el  being  boarded,  we  expected  no 
2* 


18  LIFE   AND    SUFFERINGS    OF   MISS    EMMA    COLE. 

quarters.  The  pirates,  however,  after  having  plun- 
dered and  scuttled  our  vessel,  and  taken  us  to  their 
own,  offered  us  the  alternative  of  joining  their  gang, 
and  of  swearing  faithfulness  to  them, — or  death.  Be- 
tween these  we  must  instantly  decide.  My  two  com- 
rades did  not  long  hesitate  to  join  them. 

In  this  awful  situation,  I  uttered  a  fleeting  prayer  to 
God  for  strength  to  make  my  decision.  Heaven  an- 
swered my  appeal,  and  enabled  me  resolutely  to  declare 
to  the  murderers,  that  I  preferred  death  rather  than 
shed  a  fellow-being's  blood,  except  in  defence  of  life. 
This  enraged  them,  and  I  was  dragged  by  my  hair  to 
the  yard-arm,  and  there  secured.  Why  I  was  not  de- 
spatched at  once  I  did  not  know,  unless  I  was  reserved 
for  a  subject  of  torture. 

They  had  scarcely  finished  binding  me,  when  a  sud- 
den gust  of  wind  struck  the  vessel,  and  laid  her  on  her 
beam-ends,  but  she  soon  resumed  her  position.  A  vio- 
lent storm  had  been  coming  on,  which  now  broke  upon 
us  with  great  violence,  and  which  on  the  second  day, 
had  driven  us  in  sight  of  land,  which  proved  to  be  an 
island.  Death  now  stared  every  one  in  the  face,  which 
to  me  was  far  more  welcome  than  to  unite  myself  with 
these  fiends  in  the  likeness  of  men,  and  shed  innocent 
blood  for  the  sake  of  gold.  As  the  vessel  neared  the 
shore,  the  anchors  were  thrown  out,  but  the  cables 
parted,  and  imminent  death  was  before  us.  The  Cap- 
tain ordered  me  to  be  unbound,  for  he  said  we  should 
all  be  in  eternity  soon.  I  was  then  unbound.  The 
sea  ran  very  high,  but  the  vessel  striking  upon  a  sandy 
shore,  by  a  kind  Providence  we  were  all  saved.  She 
soon  after  went  to  pieces,  and  wefwere  left  on  an  ap- 
parently desolate  island. 


:  were  ai 
,e-Vere 


Emma,  as  a  sailor,  captured  on  the  high  scan,  and  bound  by  Pirates 
See  opposite  page. 


20  LIFE  AND   SUFFERINGS 

The  pirates  now  began  to  be  affected  by  a  different 
feeling  towards  me  than  t*hey  had  before  entertained. 
The  principle  of  virtue  and  humanity,  which  actuated 
me,  seemed  to  have  its  benign  effects,  even  on  their 
flinty  and  murderous  hearts.  They  were  witnesses 
that  I  chose  death  at  their  hands,  rather  than  steep  my 
own  in  the  warm  blood  of  a  fellow  being.  I  treated 
them  kindly,  and  savage  as  were  their  natures,  I  was 
used  much  better  than  my  two  former  comrades  who 
had  joined  their  gang.s 

We  had  not  been  long  in  this  situation,  when  we 
were  visited  by  a  small  party  of  Indians,  from  a  neigh- 
boring island.  They  appeared  of  a  friendly  character, 
and  observing  we  were  destitute  of  provisions,  supplied 
us  from  their  own.  A  bloody  tragedy  was  again  to  be 
enacted  by  the  heartless  pirates.  The  canoes  and  other 
articles  belonging  to  the  Indians  were,  wanted  by  the 
pirates,  and  engaging  in  a  slight  dispute  with  them,  the 
whole  crew  fell  upon  and  butchered  them  all.  As  I 
was  obliged  to  be  a  silent  spectator  of  this  cruel  and 
most  inhuman  deed,  my  blood  seemed  to  congeal  in  my 
veins,  my  pulse  to  cease  its  throbbing,  and*  my  whole 
faculties  to  be  paralyzed.  But  there  was  no  escaping 
from  my  situation. 

After  this  slaughter,  they  took  the  canoes  of  the  na- 
tives, together  with  their  weapons,  and  expected,  thus 
equipped,  to  be  able  10  capture  some  defenceless  vessel, 
when  one  should  heave  in  sight.  Two  days  elapsed, 
and  a  vessel  was  descried  at  a  distance.  It  being  calm, 
we  all  got  into  the  canoes  and  made  towards  her.  On 
reaching  her,  she  appeared  to  be  a  merchantman,  from 
the  African  coast,  with  gold  dust  and  other  valuables, 


OF    MISS    EMMA    COLE.  21 

and  bound  for  London.  On  being  made  acquainted 
that  we  had  just  been  shipwrecked,  we  were  received 
by  them  and  treated  with  great  kindness. 

When  the  pirates  had  discovered  the  value  of  the 
cargo,  a  plan  was  concerted  to  murder  the  whole  of  the 
vessel's  crew,  and  take  possession  of  the  vessel.  The 
moment  at  length  arrived  for  the  insurrection.  At  a 
signal  they  arose,  but  were  promptly  met  by  the  ves- 
sel's crew,  who  it  seems  had  been  suspicious  of  their 
designs  all  the  while.  There  was  a  desperate  struggle 
between  the  parties,  but  the  pirates  were  at  last  con- 
quered, without  any  loss  of  life.  We  were  all  put  in 
chains;  but  were  treated  much  better  than  I  could  have 
expected.  I  now  considered  my  destiny  fixed,  and  that 
no  better  fate  awaited  me  than  death,  for  there  seemed 
to  be  no  chance  of  escape.  It  was  thirty-six  days  be- 
fore we  arrived  at  London. 

Perhaps  the  reader  may  imagine  in  some  degree  the 
state  of  my  feelings  during  the  voyage.  An  orphan, 
penniless,  friendless,  and  hurdled  with  a  gang  of  bloody 
desperadoes,  I  was  confined  day  and  night,  and  com- 
pelled to  listen  to  their  blasphemy,  as  they  cursed  the 
protecting  hand  of  heaven,  that  had  arrested  them  in 
their  guilty  career.  Though  life  be  desirable,  as  it  is 
ordinarily  possessed,  yet  I  could  pray  that  mine  might 
cease  at  once,  rather  than  have  lived  much  longer  in 
the  situation  wherein  I  was  placed.  My  hand  had  not 
been  raised  against  the  friendly  mariners,  by  whom  we 
had  been  so  kindly  received.  My  only  trust  was  in 
Him  to  whom  the  most  secret  thoughts  and  actions  of 
all  are  visible. 

My  limbs  were  much  galled  by  the  irons  with  which 


22  LIFE    AND    SUFFERINGS 

I  was  bound,  yet  I  did  not  murmur,  though  I  could 
hardly  stand.  My  resignation  to  this  hard  fate  seemed 
to  slightly  affect  my  hardened  companions,  who  knew 
that  I  was  suffering  unjustly. 

When  we  arrived  at  London,  we  were  thrown  into 
damp  cells,  and  there  lay  several  weeks  awaiting  our 
trials.  At  last  the  eventful  time  arrived  for  us  to  be 
arraigned.  The  captain  was  first  tried,  and  condemned 
to  be  hung,  then  the  rest  were  severally  tried,  and  re- 
ceived the  same  sentence.  Being  but  a  youth,  my  case 
was  reserved  until  the  last.  This  was  an  awful  and 
critical  moment  for  me.  Standing  before  a  judge,  in 
the  presence  of  a  jury  that  were  sworn  to  acquit  or 
condemn  according  to  the  testimony,  I  knew  my  case 
to  be  hopeless,  unless  there  should  be  discovered  one 
spark  of  pity  or  humanity  in  the  hearts  of  the  con- 
demned wretches,  who  were  soon  to  stand  before  a 
higher  tribunal,  and  receive  the  sentence  of  the  Judge 
of  Heaven.  On  being  asked  what  I  had  to  say  in  my 
behalf,  with  much  emotion  I  replied,  that  I  was  inno- 
cent of  the  crime  alleged  against  me,  and  that  if  those 
that  had  been  condemned  could  be  induced  to  speak 
the  truth  for  me^  it  was  all  I  could  ask.  After  a  few 
moments  of  breathless  silence,  during  which  my 
destiny  was  decided,  the  pirate  captain  arose,  and 
asking  permission,  said  he  had  a  few  words  to  say 
before  the  court  proceeded  further.  He  then  related 
how  I  had  come  among  them,  my  refusal  to  partici- 
pate in  their  bloody  designs,  and  other  particulars  in 
relation  to  my  situation.  The  mate  confirmed  the  cap- 
tain's story.  By  this  voluntary  act  of  benevolence  on 
the  part  of  the  condemned,  I  was  acquitted  and  set  at 


OF    MISS    EMMA    COLE.  23 

liberty.  -Indeed,  my  signal  deliverance  seemed  like  a 
miracle  performed  by  heaven,  to  signify  its  regard  for 
truth  and  justice.  Truly,  I  did  not  expect  these  life 
giving  words  from  those  who  had,  but  a  few  months 
before,  murdered  my  companions,  and  having  bound 
me,  were  about  to  add  me  to  the  number  of  their  vic- 
tims. The  condemned,  nine  in  all,  were  solemnly  exe- 
cuted. Awful  fate  !  I  could  not  avoid  the  reflection, 
of  what  would  be  the  contrast  in  their  situation,  had 
they  like  me,  made  right  their  governing  principle,  and 
have  partaken  of  the  bitter  draught  of  woej  rather  than 
have  quaffed  from  the  poisonous  cup  of  sin. 

Again  in  the  streets  of  London,  I  wandered  about, 
until  I  found  an  opportunity  to  ship  as  cook  to  Boston. 
We  had  a  pleasant,  but  rather  long  voyage.  We  ar- 
rived on  the  19th  of  May,  1794,  after  I  had  been  absent 
a  considerable  time,  and  had  passed  through  many 
hardships  and  hair  breadth  escapes.  I  had  become 
weary  of  this  roving  life,  having  neither  brother  or 
friend  to  sympathize  with  me,  in  moments  of  trial,  and 
being  constantly  alarmed  that  the  character  of  my  sex 
would  be  discovered,  although  by  this  time  T  had  so 
well  acquired  the  air  and  tone  of  voice  of  the  sailor, 
that  the  character  seemed  familiar  to  me.  I  had  but  a 
few  dollars  left  after  all  my  hardships,  and  my  health 
beginning  to  decline,  I  kept  myself  for  several  days 
confined,  and  had  abundant  time  for  reflection.  But 
the  mare  I  meditated  the  worse  my  situation  seemed, 
and  I  almost  gave  myself  up  to  despair.  I  was  not 
able  to  labor  with  men,  nor  was  I  skilled  in  needle- 
work, and  having  a  negleoted  edusation,  was  not  quali- 
fied to  establish  a  school.  I  should  have  sunk  under 


24  LIFE   AND   SUFFERINGS 

this  weight  of  sorrow,  had  I  not  heard  many  who 
crossed  my  path  complain  of  their  hard  lot,  even  when 
they  possessed  the  common  comforts  and  friendships  of 
life.  Alas,  what  would  have  been  their  murmurs  had 
they  like  me  bsen  nursed  in  penury,  and  rocked  in  the 
cradle  of  affliction  !  By  their  ingratitude  I  gathered 
new  strength,  and  was  resolved  at  least  to  be  content 
with  my  situation,  though  I  should  beg  for  bread  from 
door  to  door. 

One  day  as  I  was  in  search  of  some  employment, 
and  was  passing  the  court-house,  I  observed  a  crowd 
of  people  pressing  in  at  the  door.  My  curiosity  being 
aroused  to  learn  the  cause  of  this  excitement,  I  placed 
myself  among  the  mass,  and  was  carried  along  by  the 
vortex  until  I  reached  the  court  chamber.  An  involun- 
tary shudder  came  over  me,  as  I  remembered  the  mel- 
ancholy fate  of  those  unhappy  men,  and  my  own  prov- 
idential deliverance,  at  a  similar  tribunal  in  London. 
The  prisoner  had  not  yet  been  brought  into  court. 
After  a  while  he  arrived,  attended  by  an  officer;  arid 
judge  of  my  horror  on  recognising  in  his  bloated  fea- 
tures, the  same  Captain  Gregory,  who  attempted  my 
ruin,  and  who  had  been  the  principal  cause  of  all  my 
subsequent  sufferings.  The  captain,  it  seems,  had  be- 
come dissipated,  and  had  lost  the  confidence  of  his  em- 
ployers. He  had  in  a  turn  of  drunkenness  quarrelled 
with  his  landlord,  of  whom  he  had  had  his  liquor,  and 
killed  him.  Although  the  evidence  was  conclusive 
against  him,  his  jury  rendered  a  verdict  of  man- 
slaughter in  the  first  degree.  Thus  would  the  wretch 
probably  escape  with  a  few  years  incarceration  in  the 
state  prison.  But  methinks  life  must  be  a  galling  bur- 


OF    MISS    EMMA    COLE.  26 

den  to  such  a  being,  for  conscience,  that  inward  moni- 
tor, seldom  slumbers  in  its  office,  but  with  an  unerring 
index  directs  the  oblivious  memory  to  its  own  record  of 
the  cankered  and  guilty  soul. 

One  beautiful  morning  I  went  down  upon  one  of  the 
projecting  wharves  in  the  harbor.  The  sun  had  just 
arisen.  The  weather  was  mild  and  pleasant,  and  the 
view  of  the  harbor  was  extremely  beautiful,  there  being 
just  enough  wind  to  waft  the  vessels  inward.  I  was 
delighted  with  the  calm  beauty  of  nature  spread  out 
before  me.  As  I  was  contemplating  these  objects,  I  ob- 
served not  far  from  me  a  gentleman  and  lady  richly 
clad,  with  a  little  girl  about  three  years  of  age.  Their 
minds  appeared  to  be  engrossed  with  admiration  of  the 
beauties  spread  out  before  them.  As  they  strolled 
along,  the  child  wandered  a  moment  from  their  side, 
when  suddenly  the  noise  of  its  fall  into  the  water  was 
heard.  So  sudden  was  the  transition  of  their  minds 
from  joy  to  terror,  that  they  stood  paralyzed  by  the 
suddenness  of  the  fearful  catastrophe.  There  was  no 
other  person  near.  I  expected  the  father  to  plunge  in 
and  rescue  her.  I  saw  her  rise,  then  sink  again,  and 
all  was  still  as  the  grave ;  once  more  she  appeared  and- 
sank.  I  resolved  to  make  an  effort  for  her  when  she 
again  appeared,  though  I  should  perish  with  her.  I 
knew  this  would  be  the  last  opportunity  to  save  her. 
Her  parents  in  their  paroxyisms  of  agony  wept  aloud. 
The  gurgling  of  the  water  now  indicated  that  she  was 
approaching  the  surface,  and  for  the  last  time.  Throw- 
ing off  my  jacket,  I  plunged  in,  and  had  the  good  for- 
tune to  catch  her  as  she  arose,  and  placing  her  in  a 
situation  to  enable  me  to  swim  as  well  as  possible, 
3 


26  LIFE    AND    SUFFERINGS 

made  my  way  to  a  boat,  a  few  rods  distant,  lifting  her 
into  this,  I  got  in  myself.  Disengaging  the  boat,  I  suc- 
ceeded in  mooring  it  to  the  wharf,  and. having  landed 
with  my  prize,  placed  it  in  the  arms  of  its  now  joyful 
parents.  Their  happiness  was  as  sudden  and  intense 
as  was  their  grief  but  a  moment  before.  They  show- 
ered upon  me  every  possible  demonstration  of  their 
gratitude.  The  father  tendered  to  me  the  contents  of 
his  purse,  and  the  lady  taking  a  watch  from  her  side 
begged  me  to  accept  it.  But  I  declined  a  pecuniary  re- 
muneration, and  replied,  that  I  had  done  nothing  more 
than  my  duty.  Again,  I  was  entreated  to  accept  a  re- 
ward, as  they  were  wealthy,  but  I  refused,  replying 
that  I  did  not  hazard  my  own  life  for  money.  Upon 
this  I  was  handed  their  address,  and  requested,  after 
changing  my  clothing,  to  call  upon  them.  I  answered. 
that  I  should  suffer  no  inconvenince  from  the  water  in 
my  clothes  ;  but  they  insisted  that  I  should  do  as  they 
requested,  and  call  on  them  in  an  hour.  I  nodded 
assent  to  the  latter  proposition,  and  the  gentleman  re- 
quested me  as  I  passed  up  the  wharf,  to  send  down  his 
carriage  which  stood  at  the  head  of  it.  I  did  so. 
•  In  about  an  hour  I  went  by  the  direction  of  the  card 
to  91  Tremont  street,  which  appeared  an  elegant  estab- 
lishment. I  rang  the  door  bell,  and  a  servant  appeared, 
of  whom  I  inquired  if  Mr.  Brown  was  at  home,  and 
was  answered  in  the  affirmative,  but  that  he  was  en- 
gaged ;  by  this  time  Mr.  Brown  had  come  to  the  door. 
and  extending  his  hand,  gave  me  a  cordial  reception. 
The  child  had  now  so  far  recovered  as  to  be  able  to 
run  about.  He  observed  to  me,  that  I  had  not  changed 
my  wet  clothes,  and  seemed  apprehensive  lest  I  should 


OF    MISS    EMMA    COLE.  27 

get  a  cold  by  neglecting  it,  and  thought  that  I  was  an 
obstinate-headed  fellow.  I  told  him  that  was  probably 
the  case  in  some  instances.  He  wished  me  to  explain 
my  meaning.  I  then  made  him  acquainted  with  my 
destitute  condition,  and  that  I  was  not  the  owner  of  a 
change  of  clothing,  and  had  but  a  few  shillings  in  the 
world  to  buy  food  with.  This  account  much  excited 
his  compassion,  and  he  inquired  next  where  I  lodged. 
I  told  him  it  was  with  a  poor  family  in  an  obscure  part 
of  the  city.  He  said  that  I  must  go  with  him  in  a  few 
moments  and  get  a  new  suit  of  clothes ;  this  I  at  first 
refused,  but  by  his  kind  solicitations  at  last  consented 
to  receive.  I  was  now  informed  that  a  situation  would 
be  provided  for  me  in  his  store,  and  that  I  was  to  live 
in  his  family.  I  told  him  that  such  a  blunt  person  as 
myself  would  make  a  ridicuous  figure  as  a  member  of 
his  family;  that  being  left  an  orphan  at  a  tender  age, 
and  always  having  to  labor  hard,  I  was  ashamed  of 
my  bad  education.  I  was  informed  that  I  should  no 
longer  be  an  orphan,  if  I  would  only  look  upon  them 
as  parents  and  guardians.  Yielding  to  that  powerful 
instinct  in  our  nature,  sympathy,  and  being  intoxicated 
by  the  vision  of  friends  and  a  happy  home,  I  consented 
to  comply  with  their  urgent  requests.  Their  treatment 
of  me  was  the  same  as  though  I  had  been  their  child. 
Their  lives  were  an  exemplification  of  true  Christian 
charity. 

Having  been  with  them  a  number  of  days,  I  thought 
best  now  to  come  out  in  my  own  true  colors,  and  dis- 
cover who  and  what  I  was.  But  this  was  a  delicate 
business.  I  pondered  it  in  my  mind  for  several  days, 
not  daring  to  divulge  the  whole  truth,  fearing  that  they 


28  LIFE    AND    SUFFERINGS 

might  not  credit  my  story,  but  think  I  had  disguised 
myself  for  some  dishonorable  purpose.  But  my  virtue 
and  truth  I  meant  to  maintain,  and  if  the  recital  of  my 
history  should  lessen  me  in  their  estimation,  and  I 
should  be  discarded  by  them,  I  should  at  least  be-  as 
well  off  as  I  was  before  their  hospitable  reception. 
After  I  had  made  up  my  mind  to  this  effect,  I  was  un- 
der great  anxiety  on  many  accounts,  such  as  how  I 
should  appear  in  a  female  garb,  and  how  soften  the 
masculine  tone  my  voice  had  acquired. 

Not  knowing  how  my  story  might  be  received,  I  ob- 
tained one  evening,  the  consent  of  the  family  to  listen 
to  it  after  supper.  The  appointed  time  came,  and  with 
an  anxious  heart  I  commenced.  I  first  acquainted 
them  with  the  poverty,  sickness  and  death  of  my  pa- 
rents, that  I  was  their  only  child, — and  that  child  was 
a  female.  At  the  mention  of  this  they  started,  and 
looked  at  me  with  astonishment.  Begging  them  to 
calm  their  emotions,  I  proceeded  with  an  account  of 
myself  while  in  the  Smith  family,  and  the  cause  of  my 
leaving  them,  together  with  every  essential  particular 
in  my  history.  They  listened  with  much  curiosity  and 
solicitude.  When  I  had  finished,  instead  of  upbraiding 
me,  they  showed  every  mark  of  tenderness  and  affec- 
tion for  me.  They  pledged  themselves  that  I  should 
not  want  so  long  as  providence  was  bountiful  to  them. 
I  now  felt  the  force  of  his  remark,  when  Mr.  Brown 
called  on  us  to  witness,  that  truth  and  virtue  would  in 
the  end  vindicate  their  celestial  nature,  and  come  out 
from  the  warfare  with  vice  and  error  unscathed  and 
victorious. 

I  was  asked  if  I  should  not  like  to  change  my  dress. 


OP   MISS   EMMA    COLE.  29 

for  that  of  a  female.  I  replied  that  I  should  be  greatly 
rejoiced  to  do  so,  especially  as  I  had  now  found  protect- 
ing friends.  I  was  soon  provided  with  a  slock  of  rich 
clothing.  My  dress  now  appeared  as  odd  to  me  as 
when  I  first  put  on  male  attire.  Whilst  my  hair  re- 
mained short,  I  supplied  my  head  with  false  braids.  I 
was  sent  to  school,  and  every  care  taken  to  make  me 
an  ornament  in  society.  O  what  a  contrast  was  this  to 
my  situation,  when  bound  by  pirates,  and  death  im- 
pending over  me ;  or  while  standing  among  criminals, 
awaiting  the  sentence  of  their  awful  doom. 

Time  passed  on,  and  I  had  been  at  my  studies  about 
a  year  and  a  half.  By  this  time  I  had  worn  away  my 
masculine  manners,  and  my  voice  had  assumed  its  nat- 
ural tone.  One  day  as  I  walking  down  Washing- 
ton street,  in  company  with  Mr.  Brown  and  wife,  we 
noticed  a  young  man  on  the  opposite  side  staggering 
about,  apparently  much  intoxicated.  As  soon  as  I  saw 
his  face,  I  recognized  the  person  who  had  attempted 
my  dishonor  while  I  was  in  the  Smith  family.  I  ac- 
qainted  my  benefactors  of  this,  and  Mr.  Brown  accost- 
ing a  young  man  with  whom  he  was  acquainted,  de- 
sired him  to  follow  the  fellow  and  ascertain  as  much  as 
he  could  in  relation  to  him. 

On  our  return  home  in  a  few  hours,  we  found  the 
young  man  of  Mr.  Brown's  acquaintance,  waiting  to 
give  us  the  desired  information.  He  said,  that  from 
Washington  street  he  had  followed  him  into  several  low 
tippling  shops  in  Hatter's  Square,  and  Ann 'street, 
&c.  In  one  of  those  groggeries  he  inquired  if  they 
knew  anything  about  the  fellow,  and  was  informed 
that  he  boarded  there,  or  at  least  received  his  food  for 


30  LIFE   AND    SUFFERINGS 

his  services  in  going  on  errands,  and  the  like  for  them; 
that  he  was  a  miserable  drunkard,  and  that  they  should 
like  to  be  rid  of  him ;  that  he  had  been  several  times  in 
the  House  of  Correction,  and  that  he  would  be  there 
again  soon,  and  that  this  was  the  only  fit  place  for  him ; 
that  he  sometimes  got  a  job  of  wood  sawing,  when  he 
was  sober.  Mr.  Brown  was  anxious  to  converse  with 
him,  and  sent  for  him  to  come  and  saw  his  wood.  He 
came  and  commenced  his  work.  After  a  few  moments, 
Mr.  Brown  sent  word  he  wished  to  see  him,  and  de- 
sired him  to  enter  the  house.  He  came  in,  and  on 
being  asked  if  his  name  was  Hackley  answered  in  the 
affirmative,  and  that  he  had  long  resided  in  the  state  of 
Maine,  though  he  was  a  native  of  the  state  of  New- 
York.  He  was  asked  if  he  was  ever  acquainted  with 
a  poor  family  by  the  name  of  Cole.  He  said  he  once 
knew  such  a  family,  in  which  was  an  only  daughter; 
that  the  parents  were  dead ;  that  no  one  knew  any- 
thing about  the  child,  except  that  shortly  after  her  dis- 
appearance one  night  from  her  adopted  home,  intelli- 
gence was  received  that  she  had  reached  a  poor 
widow's  cottage  late  on  one  rainy  night. 

I  now  asked  him  if  he  could  inform  us  of  the  cause 
of  her  singular  conduct  1  At  this  question  he  cast  a 
-wild  glance  at  me,  and  for  sometime  was  silent.  I 
thought  he  had  recognized  me.  Breaking  silence,  with 
a  deep  sigh,  he  replied  that  he  was  the  only  soul  that 
knew  the  cause — but  that  he  would  that  the  grave  had 
closed-over  him  ere  he  had  become  acquainted  with  it. 
I  asked  him  if  he  thought  he  should  recognize  her  if  he 
could  see  her.  He  said  he  thought  he  should ;  but  that 
she  must  have  died  long  since.  On  being  asked  if  he 


OF   MISS    EMMA    COLE.  31 

would  like  to  see  her,  he  said  it  would  afford  him  the 
greatest  pleasure. 

Mr.  Brown  now  called  me  by  name,  and  desired  me 
to  advance  towards  them,  and  pointing  at  me,  said  that 
I  was  the  young  orphan  in  question.  Upon  this  he  fell 
senseless  to  the  floor.  Restoratives  being  applied,  he 
gradually  revived;  and  looking  wildly  around,  he  im- 
agined he  had  been  in  a  dream.  At  length,  perceiving 
the  reality  of  his  situation,  he  fell  at  my  feet,  confessed 
that  he  had  tried  his  utmost  to  ruin  me,  and  because 
he  could  not  succeed,  had  been  the  cause  of  my  being 
turned  out  of  doors.  He  beseeched,  he  entreated  me  to 
forgive  him.  I  gave  him  my  forgiveness  freely.  He 
confessed  that  nothing  had  prospered  with  him,  but 
that  he  had  been  cursed  of  God  ever  since  that  event. 
Asking  our  consent  to  give  a  brief  sketch  of  his  life,  he 
commenced. 

"  My  parents,  during  my  minority,  resided  in  New 
York.  They  had  always  been  in  comfortable  circum- 
stances; and  a  large  legacy  from  a  rich  relative  in 
England  placed  them  in  an  affluent  condition.  But 
the  suddenness  of  the  possession  of  this  fortune  caused 
them  to  squander  it  away  in  fashionable  amusements, 
and  a  thousand  other  vanities.  My  father  at  length 
being  awakened  to  a  sense  of  the  state  of  his  sinking 
fortune,  resolved  to  remove  from  a  society  among  whom 
he  could  not  much  longer  maintain  his  former  station. 
He  accordingly  removed  to  the  state  of  Maine,  and  en- 
gaged in  the  lumber  business.  I  had  two  sisters,  who 
with  my  mother,  felt,  when  they  departed  eastward, 
that  they  had  forsaken  the  world,  and  were  leaving 
behind  them  all  that  makes  life  desirable. 


32  LIFE    AND    SUFFERINGS 

"  On  arriving  in  Maine,  my  father  entered  largely  in 
the  trade  of  lumber,  and  in  a  few  years  acquired  con- 
siderable wealth.  Myself  and  sisters  were  indulged  in 
idleness,  and  were  much  pampered  by  our  parents.  I 
grew  vain,  and  was  indignant  at  any  effort  to  oppose 
my  desires.  When  my  attempt  of  violence  upon  your 
person  had  failed,  I  resolved  to  ruin  your  character, 
that  you  might  not  expose  me,  and  accordingly  was  the 
author  of  that  hellish  plot  by  which  you  was  turned 
out  of  doors.  I  exulted  for  a  while,  but  remorse  soon 
followed,  and  conscience  was  ever  reminding  me  what 
a  merciless  wretch  I  had  been.  Though  repentance 
came,  it  was  too  late  to  undo  what  had  passed.  In 
about  two  years  both  of  my  parents  died,  leaving  me 
considerable  property.  I  went  into  business,  but  every 
speculation  I  made  turned  out  badly.  It  seemed  that 
a  curse  rested  upon  me.  I  then  took  to  the  aceursed 
wine  cup,  in  order  to  drown  my  sorrows.  I  now  made 
worse  speculations  than  ever,  and  my  fortune  was 
nearly  gone ;  when  one  day  being  much  intoxicated, 
advantage  was  taken  of  my  situation,  and  I  was  in- 
duced to  endorse  a  note  for  several  thousand  dollars, 
and  before  its  maturity  the  maker  failed,  and  every 
thing  being  taken  from  me,  I  found  myself  several 
hundred  dollars  in  debt.  Now  I  was  penniless,  now  I 
was  friendless ;  for  what  friends  I  had  not  estranged  by 
ill  treatment,  left  me  at  this  last  blow.  I  hung  around 
the  grogshops  as  long  as  I  could  be  allowed.  A  vessel 
coming  to  Boston,  some  townsmen  offered  to  pay  my 
passage  if  I  would  quit  the  place,  and  not  let  them  see 
me  for  at  least  a  year.  I  consented,  though  not  with- 
out a  small  sense  of  shame  at  my  degraded  situation. 


OF   MISS    EMMA   COLE.  33 

I  traced  the  source  of  all  this  misery  to  the  injury  I  had 
inflicted  upon  you.  But  I  had  only  tasted  of  the  bitter 
draught  that  was  preparing  for  me.  We  arrived  in 
Boston,  and  wandering  about  until  it  was  nearly  night, 
seeking  employment  but  finding  none,  I  began  to  pon- 
der on  my  wretched  situation,  and  coming  to  a  place 
where  temptation  is  held  out  to  the  poor  inebriate, 
I  could  not  resist  the  enticing  draught,  which  I  took, 
and  taking  'a  few  cents  from  my  remaining  shilling, 
cast  them  down  and  departed. 

"  At  length  I  obtained  lodging  and  board  at  a  cheap 
establishment,  and  worked  whenever  people  would  em- 
ploy me,  which  was  only  when  I  was  sober,  and  that 
was  rarely  the  case.  I  dragged  along  for  a  while  in 
this  way,  being  scarcely  able  to  pay  my  board,  and 
find  myself  in  liquor.  My  appetite  for  strong  drink  in- 
creasing, I  gave  way  to  it,  and  attended  to  but  little 
business.  I  could  not  now  pay  my  board  and  supply 
the  cravings  of  my  appetite  for  strong  drink,  and  be- 
coming indebted  for  them  both,  I  was  twice  arraigned 
as  a  vagabond  and  drunkard  at  the  bar  of  your  police, 
and  sent  to  the  House  of  Correction.  I  made  no  com- 
plaint against  your  municipal  laws,  though  it  seemed 
rather  hard  to  me  that  such  inducements  to  dissipation 
and  ruin  should  be  so  publicly  sanctioned.  Alas,  I  have 
ruined  myself,  and  there  is  not  the  least  hope  left  me. 
But  I  ought  not  complain,  for  the  just  visitings  of  God 
are  upon  me." 

And  concluding  his  brief  narrative,  he  buried  his  face 
in  his  hands,  arid  wept  tears  of  repentance.  I  could 
not  help  feeling  compassion  for  him  under  this  load  of 
misery,  notwithstanding  he  had  been  the  cause  of  all 


34  LIFE    AND    SUFFERINGS 

my  woes.  But  for  him  I  might  never  have  wanted 
friends,  and  a  home.  Yet  the  hand  that  had  supported 
me,  compelled  him  to  partake  of  the  bitter  draught  he 
had  prepared  for  me,  and  drain  it  even  to  the  dregs. 
He  was  now  broken-hearted  and  penitent. 

My  benefactors  were  touched  with  compassion  at  the 
sight  of  so  much  misery,  and  procured  him  a  boarding 
place.  But  his  diseased  arid  wrecked  frame  did  not 
support  itself  only  about  a  month  after  this.  As  he  lay 
upon  his  death-bed  he  sent  for  us  to  come  arid  see  him. 
When  we  entered  the  room,  he  took  me  by  his  cold 
and  death-like  hand  and  again  besought  me  to  forgive 
him.  I  replied,  that  I  had  long  since  done  so.  His 
features  brightening,  he  thanked  me  and  exclaimed  ; 
"O  do  not  forsake  the  path  of  virtue,  and  you  will 
surely  be  happy.  O  that  I  had  never  forsaken  it ;  alas, 
the  way  of  the  transgressor  is  hard.  There  is  no  peace 
to  the  wicked.  Would  that  I  could  live  my  life  over 
again.  But  it  is  too  late.  I  shall  soon  be  before  my 
Judge,  and  receive  my  due  reward."  His  horrid  fea- 
tures betrayed  the  most  intense  agony  of  mind ;  a  few 
more  convulsions,  and  he  passed  into  eternity.  As  I 
gave  a  parting  glance  at  his  lifeless  remains,  soon  to  be 
returned  to  their  mother  earth,  I  could  not  forbear  the 
reflection  of  what  would  have  been  his  present  sit- 
uation, had  he  fulfilled  the  objects  of  existence  de- 
signed by  his  Creator,  and  been  an  instrument  of  good 
rather  than  evil  to  those  around  him,  and  a  blessing  to 
himself. 

Time  passed  happily  on,  and  I  was  much  respected 
and  beloved  by  my  adopted  parents.  At  length  I  be- 
came acquainted  with  a  young  man  by  the  name  of 


OF    MISS    EMMA    COLE.  35 

Hanson.  I  noticed  a  growing  attachment  on  his  part 
for  me,  and  observing  a  similar  feeling  increasing  with 
myself,  I  resolved  to  put  an  end  to  the  intimacy.  He 
begged  permission  to  address  me,  but  I  declined,  say- 
ing that  I  was  but  a  poor  orphan,  and  that  he  was  rich 
and  had  been  reared  in  a  different  rank  of  society  from 
myself  that  being  affluent  and  handsome  he  could 
have  his  choice  among  the  many  thousand  fair  ones  j 
that  by  wedding  me  he  might  regret  his  choice,  and  I 
advised  him  to  abandon  the  thought.  He  replied,  if 
that  is  the  case  let  me  have  my  choice,  for  you  are  the 
one  and  only  one  I  should  select,  and  to  no  one  else 
could  I  offer  my  heart.  He  wished  me  to  meditate  on 
it,  and  consult  my  friends.  On  making  my  new  pa- 
rents acquainted  with  all  that  had  transpired,  they  ex- 
tolled him  highly,  and  encouraged  our  union ;  and  in 
about  four  months  we  were  married. 

I  lived  in  wedlock  happy  and  content.  Providence 
blest  our  union  with  four  children.  Thirty-three  years 
of  married  life  passed  smoothly  away,  and  we  had  not 
a  sorrow  to  mar  our  happiness.  It  had  always  been 
my  study  and  delight  to  train  up  my  offspring  in  the 
paths  of  virtue  and  uprightness,  instilling  early  into 
their  young  minds  the  importance  of  obeying 'the  divine 
commands,  and  the  fearful  consequences  of  the  least 
disobedience. 

It  is  with  mingled  emotions  of  pleasure  and  pain  that 
I  look  back  on  my  past  life.  The  path  of  my  early 
years  was  indeed  strewn  with  thorns;  and  along  its 
mazy  and  rugged  labryinth  I  can  descry  yawning  pits, 
into  which  I  should  inevitably  have  been  engulfed,  had 
not  virtue  been  my  guide3  constantly  admonishing  me  of 


. 

36  LIFE   AND    SUFFERINGS    OF   MISS   EMMA    COLE. 

the  impending  dangers  by  which  I  was  surrounded. 
Yet  I  put  my  trust  in  my  heavenly  Father. 

I  am  now  in  the  vale  of  years.  My  children  have 
all  married,  and  are  prospering.  Having  exposed  my- 
self to  so  many  hardships  while  young,  I  feel  that  my 
health  is  fast  declining,  and  that  I  must  soon  quit  the 
busy  stage  of  life. 

I  have  now  accomplished  the  object  I  had  long  de- 
sired, that  of  laying  before  the  youth  of  both  sexes,  a 
brief  narrative  of  my  life,  in  which  they  may  see,  that 
however  well  vice  and  wrong-doing  may  prosper  for  a 
time,  in  the  end  it  brings  its  own  woe  ;  and  that  virtue 
alone  can  guard  and  render  them  happy  in  this  world, 
and  secure  their  felicity  in  another. 


Mrs.  Emma  Hanson  died  at  the  age  of  fifty-nine 
years  and  seven  months,  at  her  residence  in  Boston, 
and  her  loss  was  much  lamented  by  a  large  circle  of 
friends,  to  whom  she  was  affectionately  endeared. 


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